New Years Revolution

Seriously, who posts things on blogs anymore aye?

I suppose there's so much I could say, and yet so little that hasn't in some way been covered by every other idiot with a social media account. So why don't we start off with the events that took place at REVOLUTION XIX...

Ah, it was the biggest event of the year that saw the crowning of a new champion and the emergence of a new era of superstars that will look to make 2017 a banner year. People like Tyson Gregory and Julian Savel have proven to us that Tag Team Wrestling isn't a dead institution, while Zoey Adler proved that even a complete and total wanker can have a lucky night and somehow not lose 2 big matches despite being out classed in BOTH

Thanks to the efforts of Josh Elliot, anyway...

We watched Aidan Collins get lucky enough to be in a chamber with 3 plebs and not Jackie Fowler who had to be blasted in the face with a wrench to be eliminated from the match... I'm just as disappointment as you are, Lad... Zoey's anorexic wife needs a head injury to teach her some manners...  - - His untimely elimination all but handing the ECWF Championship to Collins who only had to beat baby Moss

MsKatieSomethingOrOther...
Whatever...

Also we saw the return of a few people!

But if you think I'm allotting more than one line on this blog to Alexis Terry... You're higher than she is. 

I don't actually care about any of that... Honestly, I don't care that Zoey needed help to beat Cobalt who is like 0-8 in the ECWF. I don't care that some twat from up north is back. I don't care that Tyson and Julian beat Josh and a 12 year old girl by the skin of their arse. And I don't care that Aidan Collins is a placeholder for a championship that belongs to m

NONE of it matters
In fact the ONLY thing that matters... Is Lacey Allen

That's right... Your SEVEN time ECWF Superstar of the year - - the woman who co-holds (for now) the record for MOST ECWF World Championships. The woman who has beaten every single one of you slobs at one time or another on her way to DOMINATING 2016 in a style fit for a queen... I'd like to thank MYSELF for all the hard work and dedication I put in last year. Without me, I would have never regained my rightful spot as the federation's most valuable superstar - - and without wankers like you to pad my bloated statistics and make me look all the better

I'd probably be the best superstar someplace else instead of here
Then it'd be a different roster of twats crying nepotism every time I out class them

(Which is often)

Shit, I won superstar of the year in a landslide and never even broke a nail doing so. And if you think that's bad - - you should look in the mirror, because you're miles below me on the food chain.

I can promise you more of the same for the new year... See 2017 is a BIG deal for the ECWF as it goes into it's 20th anniversary. This company has outlasted other promotions who have claimed to be bigger and better. We've made legends out of mere mortals, and we've crushed some pretty big egos along the way

Yours could be next if you start to think yer bigger than the logo
You'd be wise to remember that

But I digress...

"Blah, Blah, Blah"
 My year
"Blah, Blah, Blah"
 Kicking all your arses
"Blah, Blah, Blah"
 Legend

[Insert Eye Rolling here]

I'm not wasting my time telling you how fucked you are. It's much more fun to let you believe that this is your breakout year before I snuff the life out of your dreams with the heel of my boot... See, unlike Genocide, who has spent the better part of 2016 trying to figure out why he's had such poor form... I intend to let my actions speak for me on that account

That's not a knock on Josh. He knows where we stand
And he's smart enough to help himself become "Genocide" again in 2017

Now who is left that I haven't mentioned?

-------
Gwen Massey?
Naaahhh... She's so lost in "Gwen Land" that she can't see us living in reality

Hmm... Celeste Spirit?
Do yourself a favor kid and drop the surname. It's cursed...

Uhhh...  Mongoose?
Take a shower, you fucking slob

Mmmm... The Artist Formerly Known as Nate Daniels
See what selling out got ya?
--------

OH! That's it! The ONE person I didn't mention yet was the ECWF United States Champion

Mia Scott Cohen

I bet you all are waiting to hear me sit here and big her up. I bet you all are reading this like "Here we go... Lacey promoting her fucking wife again"

But yer wrong... See, I don't need to promote Mia. I don't need to tell you how good she is or how fucking dominate she's going to be in 2017. Because much like myself, she intends to show you the old fashioned way

With a knee to the face and a loss on your record book

What I will address is her actions at Revolution against the aforementioned Nate Daniels. Ah... I know, you all think that this is some fucking Cohen scheme to screw the institution over. And as much as I "can't wait" to hear the media act like this is some act to promote something... I'm afraid I have to squash those notions before they snowball

I ask you this
If somebody takes a cheap shot on your wife/girlfriend/boyfriend ect... Wouldn't you feel obliged to knock that pricks head off for it? If somebody attacked Tyson's girlfriend, and he ripped that arsehole's head off, you'd be applauding him as a hero

But when Mia does it... 
She's a lap dog protecting her meal ticket?

And they say Gwen's deluded...

I had nothing to do with Mia attacking Nate, I didn't know she planned to do it and I didn't know she did until I saw it on my closed circuit television. And to be fair about it, I was pretty happy that she did. After he spent a month slandering my name. After he had aligned himself with the lowest form of scum in this place, and the attempt to put me out in the Cell with a piledriver onto the exposed cement

I'd say he deserved what he got

Hell... I applaud her vigilante style retribution
Lord knows, I would have done the same had she been the recipient of all the BS

And then you'd be talking about me "protecting my child bride" or whatever it is.

It makes no difference... Revolution was the end of a year that was good to some and criminal to others. We saw success, we saw failure, we saw the destruction of relationships, and the revival of careers. 

But as in all sports, a new season brings new hope

I know many of you have set lofty goals.
I also know that many of you won't be here when we're talking about 2017 in past-tense

Don't feel bad... You wouldn't have been the first to have failed because the talent is just too great to compete against.

What I can tell you for sure... Is that at the end of 2017 - - just like the previous NINE years

Lacey Allen Cohen will be standing RIGHT here
Above the rest of you
STILL Queen of the world

Adieu, darlings

The ECWF ICON
Lacey Allen Cohen

Hello New Era

I was at an unusual apex in my life… The ECWF, my home, my sanctuary had gone into something of a renaissance with the inlet of both new and old talent looking to usurp me as the face of a federation I’ve carried upon my back since 2008. I had not held the ECWF World Title in over six months and despite having won ECWF Superstar of the Year as well as ECWF Champion of the year for 2012… the 2013 season had not started with the same vibrant splash of excitement I had hoped for.   This was supposed to be my legacy, my era… Here, I was supposed to be invincible and immune to the stress of pressure bearing down upon me…

But I wasn’t… And now as I began to understand how Jason Spirit felt when I first arrived to the ECWF Along with people like Scott Sillinger and Bobby Peru, I started to look over my shoulder at people who might come to usurp me as the ECWF’s icon. The obvious one was Nate Daniels, the ECWF’s champion. Despite all of my best efforts I have failed time and time against to best this man in the biggest spots. Sure I held a handful of wins over the lad, but in comparison to his victories over me… My wins were forgettable at best. He was a fine champion who was a bit rough around the edges… Stubborn to a fault and with a nagging desire to “do what’s right” despite having a multitude of fault lines of his own, he always tries his best and carries many of the burdens of champion better than others who are less inexperienced. Nate is the perfect example of imperfection and the best point that you don’t need to be perfect in order to be the best

You just have to try harder than the next bloke..  

I admire Nate for some things, and shake my head at others… But for all the good he does and all the mistakes he’s made. Nobody can argue that he’s willing to do whatever he has to do or fight whoever he has to fight. He’s good for the ECWF and the industry, and once he matures enough and starts to understand that this business is a balance of give and take, he’ll be even better than what he is now. That is why I feel his shadow looming over the horizon, I can sense the storm coming and if I don’t play my cards right… He could be carrying the mantra of Icon before I know it

Of course he’s not the only up and coming star in this industry… There’s also a young lady by the name of Alessandra Reynolds… Nova Wonder… She’s the current U.S Champion and up until recently somebody I never really gave much concern over as a threat to my reign here as the matron of this federation. My first real one on one match against this woman came fresh off my return from a near-career ending neck injury, I walked into the match feeling confident

Even Cocky…

I didn’t put much effort into training that week, I wrote this girl off as little more than a flash in the pan whose whole ‘aura’ was really a factor of her ability to utilize social media to her benefit. She was a nice lass who had a bitter breakup with one of my best friends, the ECWF’s resident ‘crazy bitch’ and despite my reputation as a winner… Nova Wonder went out there and gave me all I could handle. In fact I dare say that she whooped my arse, had me on the ropes and should’ve won that match if not for the intervention of the Silver Eagle who for reasons unknown decided to lay the lass out and help me to a win…

One lucky break… I was still better, right?

Maybe Not?

Then came our second match, and this time she was even hungrier and more determined to win then the first time… Granted I was in much better shape and taking her far more seriously, Nova once again have me all I could handle before Alexis Terry came swooping in and helped me to yet another controversial victory… That’s TWO unseasoned wins I hold over a woman who has now started to remind me of a young and restless Lacey Allen from my early days in the ECWF. People were starting to talk like my handle on this federation was starting to slip, I could hear the whispers, and the cracks in my armour had begun to grow as the world outside pelted it with hatred and false judgment. I suddenly found myself on an island… Lacey Allen Vs the World and the World had begun to find momentum. No longer did I have the massive trump card that was my canny ability to incite rage and force mistakes…

I had become “predictable”

And now, I’m only one week away from this BIG match against both her and my darling little sister for the United States Title. The question is whether or not I can keep this little streak going against the Wonder Girl; or if my luck will run up at the worst possible moment and allow her to pick up an unfavourable win to set my hopes of the ECWF World Title Back whilst furthering her own cause toward building her ECWF Legacy? Can I sustain myself and keep my nerves going into this MASSIVE match and earn myself another reign as United States Champion, or would either Nova or Sophie get the best of me and prove all the naysayers right?

Who knows?... 

The only thing I have control of is effort… All I can do is go out there, week in and week out and fight with all I got. I know the fate of Jason Spirit, I watched a man in the prime of his life fall because the pressures of the sport and the desire to be more than what he had to be buried him under a sea of hate and regret.  I’ve seen squandered talent and broken dreams, and I’ll not allow myself to fall victim to the same circumstance… No matter who carries the flag in this federation, whether it’s Jason, Nate, Nova, or even me

I’ll continue to fight… To promote… To do all I can to be the best I can be.

That much is a promise

----

But enough of my worrisome bantering about the issues that press me, I would like to be the first to publicly welcome Alexis Terry back to the ECWF… Yes, I know that there is a ton of controversy surrounding her after her last stay here. The way she won the title, the way she left the federation… Many are sour to the amount of publicity she got and the way she seemingly squandered all the things the ECWF was willing to hand over to her. And though I should probably be the one at the front of the line leading the cause against the woman

 
I simply cannot…

Why?... I ask myself that all the time. Why would I feel jot to see her back? After all her arrival here sparked the ‘decline’ of my reign here in the ECWF and I have not held the World Title since she took it off from me. The fact that I lost to somebody that wasn’t even a part of the roster is the biggest embarrassment of my career and the way she left me here in the rubble after her /alleged/ drug bust hurt me more than I can even describe. So why would I embrace her return to this federation when all she’s caused is heartache and pain?

Maybe it’s because I love her?

Love… It’s a weird thing, huh? Part of me feels drawn to this woman because of the kinship we have for one another. There are so few people who really ‘Get me’ like Alexis does. It’s like she’s just as fucked up as I am, she has all the same pressures and overbearing expectations bearing down upon her and she carries herself with the same bravado that I do… It’s like we’re two peas in a pod… Meant to be with each other

Weathering that storm called “Life”

Love… I want to love her with all my heart; I want things to be better //To fall into place// And I can only hope that she’ll explain some stuff to me, tell me what really happened and that she’s sorry… To hear that she’s here for real and not just to build up her bank account… And if she’s sincere enough… I want her too sweep me off my feet

To love me like I want…

Like I need...
Because that’s all we can ever ask for.

This yet another of the MANY burdens I carry on my back as we head toward ECWF Legends… This is the first major PPV event of the 2013 season and I know that a strong showing here could be the difference in my whole year. Burden is a hell of a beast to shoulder, it can make or break a person…

So the question is, will it make or break you

Before it comes for me?

Best Regards,

Lacey

GOAT

G.O.A.T

Greatness isn’t granted with some fun little self-titled acronym. It’s earned through blood, sweat, and tears… It’s gained through years of swimming against the flow. Overcoming the critics, distancing the ‘haters’ and proving your words are more than just words. Grandeur is often aspired to by many superstars and legends alike… But nobody has the ability, the drive, or the intensity that I have

Nobody sacrifices as much, or works as hard as The Puma…
Not even our new pet GOAT

You see Josh, you are “The Greatest of All Time” when it comes to cowardly blindside attacks… You’re the best at the ambush, and always seem much tougher then you actually are when you’re able to get the jump on somebody before they realise that you’re even there. And as where I understand that it’s the “era” you come from… I can firmly assert the fact that it is not the Era we currently reside in… You see, what passed as “law” ten years ago is nothing short of cowardice now… Perhaps that’s the answer then? The reason you “old guard” superstars can’t measure up against the new generation? Back then you got your job done with a dagger in the back as opposed to having the bollocks to stand face to face with your challengers up front

You’re all bloody cowards…

And like a coward, you’ll soon be backed into the corner with nowhere else to run… And nobody else to hide behind

Then what? What will come of your lauded reign as Universal Champion?... Will you actually stand up for once in your life and prove yourself valiant in the face of a challenge, or will you once again (as usual) shrivel up and revert back into the excuse-filled bitch who hides behind Ashe every time things get rough?

I now see through your little “I support Lacey” ploy… It was your way of getting me to lower my guard. And to your credit… It worked… But this time the hunted will become the hunter… And last I checked
Goats are Prey Animals… Not Predators…

So get yourself sorted out, have your nails done… spend the extra coin
Even buy a new suit…

Because that BIG challenge is on its way…
The REAL Universal Champion will be back in no time… Looking to take her championship off your pathetic arse and restore the lustre it so rightfully deserves.

And when it happens… You’re a dead man…

2009, 2010 & 2011 ECWF/UWA Superstar of the Year
UWA Legend
THE PUMA
Lacey Allen Cohen

ECWF vs UWA

Exhausting, that’s the only word that I can come up with to describe the outcome of Monday Night Mayhem… Three Stages of Hell turned out to be exactly that

Hell…

Scott and I battled it out, tooth and nail trying to quite literally kill one another. And when the smoke finally cleared… Both of us nearly accomplished just that. Yes, I hate that seedy bastard as much as the next person. He’s a racist, sexist, chauvinistic piece of rubbish who feels as if everyone owes him a massive debt… But he did prove one thing on Monday night, and that is the fact that he can still take a beating and keep fighting

That’s all the credit I’ll give the prick… And as we move forward into the next Mayhem I’ll be ready to finish the job I started on him in the Cell. And I’ll have the opportunity to plant my foot in Madsen’s arse as well…. Yeah, our new Universal Champion had a quality match and a winning outcome against the upstart Candice Cisco but now she has to deal with the prospect of Scott and me as contenders to her title… And if anyone knows Scott Sillinger, than they can expect that he’ll do something to screw Madsie over on Mayhem.

So Champ… I hope you get your rest, hone those reflexes and prepare for the knife in the spine… Because there’s a very real chance of you being in a handicap match on Monday Night, in fact plan on a massive screw job… Because It’d be very “Un-Sillinger-Like” to honour the guidelines of this match…

And since that’s behind us…

I’d like to take just a moment to comment on the ECWF’s return to the wrestling industry… As everyone well knows I’m a firm supporter of the UWA and I will stand behind the banner of this federation no matter what we’re up against. Sure, I respect the ECWF and its traditions and I’m grateful to the Draven’s for the opportunities they gave to me. But there will be no wavering on my behalf… I am a UWA Legend, the face of this federation and as its Icon I plan on leading this battle against the East Coast Wrestling Federation and its contingency

There are also rumours about regarding the contract situation with my lovely girlfriend Katherine Keller… I implore you to pay no attention to them; yes she’s the current ECWF champion. However it would make no sense to see her sign on with the ECWF and work against both myself and her mother. She’d be better suited in the UWA where she can challenge for the real prize in the industry

The Universal Title

So expect to see Katie Keller standing behind the UWA cause as soon as she’s ready to return to the ring… I just hope the ECWF knows exactly what it’s up against in this coming war.

Oh… The Latest news from Bobby Peru is that he’s climbing Mount Everest so he can personally challenge God to an arm wrestling match… Apparently he feels that God lives up there? Part of me feels like he’s confusing Mount Everest for Mount Olympus… And God for Zeus… But, I have no way of contacting the lad and telling him otherwise… So Good luck to Bobby Peru, let’s hope he can beat God in that arm wrestling contest

Three Cheers,
2009 & 2010 UWA Superstar of the Year
UWA Legend
Lacey Allen Cohen

Lucky?

Lucky?

I’d say so… Candice Cisco advances in what can only be defined as a massive upset in the UWA by defeating (and I use the term loosely) both Krishna and I on Mayhem this week. Of course she’s from a rich traditional wrestling family who has a lot to be proud of, however even the biggest fool can see that my loss wasn’t because I was outsmarted or outplayed by a rookie on the rise.

No, my demise came by the hand of Scott Sillinger who saw it fit to see me out of contention for my championship… Well bravo Scotty, you’ve helped a youngster land a massive upset. Shame you won’t get an opportunity to try for my belt either though…

I personally saw to that… And now as we ready ourselves to head into the UWA’s second show, you and I suddenly find ourselves in a three stages of hell match. Shame I don’t believe in hell… huh?

But, just because I don’t believe in such fairytales doesn’t mean that I’m not capable of showing you the true definition of such a place… Pain, punishment, and torture beyond anything imaginable is exactly what awaits you when we step into the ring. I’ll be thinking… No; seething over the fact that I’m wasting my time on some fucking has been like you while people like Candice, Graves, and that cunt Madsen fight for a title that belongs around MY waist. I hold you personally responsible and on Monday Night Mayhem

I’ll take all my motherfucking frustrations out on you and finally end your faltering career once and for all…

But enough about you… Candice, congratulations on your win: I don’t mean to sound so disrespectable when I say that it should be me, but surely you know in your heart that I was robbed out of my opportunity. I’m not demanding a shot at any belts or even suggesting that you shouldn’t enjoy the moment in the sun. In fact you should cherish it… Bask in its warmth, and please… Beat that slapper Madsen and Nancy Graves. Just be warned luvie… That sooner or later (probably sooner) I’ll be back in the front of the line looking for my title.

Good Luck on Mayhem... And remember, go for Madsen’s legs… Her bones are made of glass.

On a brighter note, I’ve begun work on my website… I’ve got my bio up as well as a little insight on my siblings (myself included) in order of oldest to youngest. Over the coming weeks I’ll be updating and adding more to it… So check back for updates and additions

Cheers,
2009 & 2010 UWA Superstar of the Year
UWA Legend
Lacey Allen Cohen

Rumours Abound

Another week brings nothing but questions for the UWA and all of its superstars, why was Ashe Draven in attendance at Devil’s Night and who was this Jack Glory Bloke who was trailing him all about? Of course we’ve all heard the internet rumours… That Clyde and Summer are selling their shares in an effort to get out of the business, but neither will publicly comment on the topic. So is Ashe getting back into the fold? And if so will we be seeing a resurgence of the old ways? Will the UWA cease to exist and go back to the ECWF?

I shall hope not, the UWA machine has been good to me and though I’ve put in my share of work it’s given back just as much as I’ve put in. I’ve come to be the face of this federation and no matter if you love me or you hate me. That fact cannot be disputed. Yes there are plenty others who are largely associated with this federation as well and I could only assume that they feel the same as I do concerning this possibility.

But let’s not dwell then?... Instead I want to officially start this blog post with well-wishes to my beautiful girlfriend who has been sidelined with what the doctors are calling a zinger. She’s sprained her neck pretty good and because there’s too much swelling to really tell if she can return without the risk of serious injury. She’s been asked to sit out seven weeks before going for a reevaluation. I personally feel as if a part of me is missing when she’s not trotting the arena with me or going out on the town by my side. But she has my full support in her recovery and I will stand steadfastly by her side for the whole process. When she’s able to return you all will see a focused and hungry Katie Keller back to reclaim what belongs to her

Not to mention a spot of revenge as well.

Revenge seems to be the common theme around the federation lately with this little soap opera going about the backstage area between Madsen, Bradley, Ava, Nate & Trey… Of course others like Josh, John, and even Bobby Peru have been absorbed into the whole odd situation. Yes I know we’re all adults here but it’s only a matter of time before this thing blows up in somebody’s face and turns ugly… Especially with the volatile personalities involved in the mix, part of me hopes that Moore and Austin go down with the ship on this one… But to be honest I’m just staying far out of this… Last thing I want right now is lady troubles

Sadly I have enough of those all ready with Kaley Blake who has yet to pull away the stipulation of our match… Yes I plan on winning, as I always do but as I stated earlier in this week. She’s only guilty of being fooled by Sillinger into thinking there was some seedy relationship when in fact he was only looking for another way to assure victory. Sadly he never anticipated my plot and thusly was run out of town… Kaley, luv. You have one week, so please reconsider… Otherwise you’ll be just as retired as the aforementioned Prez.

It’s safe to note that Lydia is still doing well as she draws ever closer to her due date… I wanted to give her a shout and tell her that if she needs anything that I’m only a phone call away. She has my didgets and I’d be glad to help out with anything that she might think inappropriate to ask the married father of her child… Or any of the other boys around here.

So let’s not put it off any longer then? Here’s this week’s Superstar Ratings



Explanations:
#1 Trey Adams returns strong after missing a long stretch of time and proved to the world that he still has that fire and passion needed to climb the ranks here in the UWA. He quickly outted ECWF Legend Samantha Curie from the UC-One Tournament and looks to be in the form he was in one year ago. If he can keep his mind focused on the challenge ahead he could be a very large challenge for all of us in the tourney.

#2 Bobby Peru showed up and performed only as Bobby Peru can… He always finds away to win and is never out of any match, he proved as much by winning the tag team turmoil match at Devils night therefore he climbs up to take the second spot in the power ratings

#3 Bradley had yet another strong showing at Devil’s Night despite going the whole match without a tag partner, but in the end she couldn’t get the job done. Yes many would argue that she was never given a chance but the great ones always find a way to pull those matches out. She drops two spots but still remains high on the list for her efforts

#4 Ava Austin retains the fourth spot on the rankings for the second straight week proving her uncanny ability to be at the right place in the right time. Yes she might be quite plastered, but don’t overlook her because she’ll gladly pull one over on you

#5 Genocide also made his return after a long layoff and decimated his opponent backstage… He might’ve been higher on the rankings had he actually pinned Christian, but the lad gets the nod on the account of him moving into the next round of the UC-One where he will most likely get to face me

That’s all for now luvs, good luck to all for this week’s show
The 2010 UWA Superstar of the Year
Lacey Allen Cohen

The Ranking System & More

Let’s sound off, shall we?

And the first subject on what promises to be a lengthy blog post is the topic of the aforementioned Administration, yes I covered this in the media all week and yet no matter where I go I’m still hounded by blokes who want to know why I did it? Of course some point to my recent loss of the UWA Universal Championship as the reason for my treason, but to be perfectly honest. I would’ve done it no matter what… You see this has been planned carefully for months; the day I accepted the belt and became a part of the Administration the eventual goal was to find a way to screw Scott over and cost him his beloved power.

It’s not my fault the fool handed me the opportunity on a silver platter than trusted me to be his saviour… He should’ve known that I couldn’t be trusted and that I was chomping at the bit for revenge after what he did to me at the start of the 2010 season. So to put an end to all of this nonsense, this act was not because I lost the belt or because I wanted to restore my girlfriend’s mother to power. It was because I had a score to settle and I found a delightful way to settle it…

Plain and simple….

Next up on the agenda is Kaley Blake, ah yes Scotty’s star crossed lover… You do know that he was just manipulating you to try and gain an advantage right? He doesn’t actually care about you luv, in fact he doesn’t care about anyone but himself… So this whole “vengeful lover” angle isn’t really the right thing for you, now that’s not to say that I’ll shy away from dealing with you. In fact because of what you did to my girlfriend I’m getting ready to shake you like a British Nanny the second we get into the ring together… And as far as your challenge goes, sure I’ll accept and put you out of a job… ONLY if Katherine gives it the OK… I don’t want to deny her the privilege of kicking your arse if she sees the need.

And speaking of Katherine… She was recently ambushed while coming out of the shower in the ladies dressing room, and though she didn’t see her attacker all signs point to that slagging cunt Madsen Moore. I know you’re all miffed over your hand and that you like to blame others for your inability to stay fit… But this is where I draw the line Moore. You don’t ambush somebody when they are in the middle of getting dressed… It’s completely yellow and the moment you and I cross paths, whether it’d be in the ring or at the local market… I swear to you I’ll make sure you have a new person to blame your lack of fitness on.

Bradley… It seems like you are getting a bit popular with the UWA fans, sure you had an impressive night at Wargames, but we both know your success was because of me. Perhaps you should send some flowers or something? It would be the proper way of thanking the British for bailing your French Arse out of trouble… You still don’t fool me though; I know you’re all smoke and mirrors and the longer you stay around my federation… The faster people will start seeing you as the fraud you are.

Josh Elliot… I would like to welcome you back to the UWA, I must say that it is lovely to hear that you are well and back in action though I am deeply sorry for your recent loss. I would very much like to meet up with you sometime and have a cuppa or perhaps a meal… Even a few drinks at the local club would be fine. We have some catching up to do and the longer we put it off the more we’ll have to catch up on

John Cena has found his good name restored recently and though it’s no secret that Cena and I have no love for one another I wanted to give my congratulations to him on this. Though I’ve said my fare share of rubbish about these allegations, I never was a fan of the way Sillinger was doing business and would only chime in to keep Scott thinking I was on his side. Besides they were dragging the good name of my friend Lydia through the mud as well and seeing as the lass is quite pregnant I was miffed about the stress it caused her. So you’re welcome for putting an end to the Sillinger Reign and stopping these ruthless rumours before they became impossible to deal with… Also I apologize for my part in spreading them, though it was necessary to rope Scotty deeper into trusting me

But enough babble for one day then, I’ve given it a little consideration and think that I may start a superstar ranking system to put my peers where they fall according to the type of week they’ve had. Now I’ll never be on this rank because I’m so biased that I’d always be at #1… Also it’s important to understand that I’m not ranking based on who I think is the best, or who my most favourite is… I’m doing it in accordance to who I think has had the best week. So don’t come to me with an attitude because I’ve rated someone I don’t like higher than you, it just means the bloke had a more favourable week.

Lacey’s Superstar Power Rankings Week 1 (10/10/2011 – 17/10/2011)
#1. Bradley (Because everyone is buzzing about her after a strong finish to Mayhem)
#2. Shay Matthews (He won Money in the Bank)
#3. John Cena (Strong Showing in Wargames, has his reputation restored)
#4. Ava Austin (Strong showing at Wargames, can she survive without “Coach” here to protect her?)
#5. Nate Daniels (The Manc had a good showing in his debut despite being outsmarted by Shay)

Pretty painless, yea?... I’ll have to consider new rankings after Devil’s Night… I’m sure we’ll see some new faces and perhaps some old ones on the list.

Cheers,
The UWA ICON
2009 & 2010 ECWF/UWA Superstar Of The Year
Lacey Allen Cohen