Enemies With Benefits

Now since all of you blokes have been so deeply gripped by the anticipation and completely diluted over the fact that I’ve not made any updates to my Blog recently, I’ve decided to set some time aside to start updating once again… Of course that means all the copy cats like John and Stacy Cena will start working their blogs again so they can fit in with the UWA’s most popular trend setter. But that’s aright by me, I could be all arsed over it; but you know what they say?

“Mimicry is the best form of flattery”

And not to stray too far from John Cena, I would like to congratulate him and Madsen on successfully walking into Mayhem and getting their arses handed to them by the superior team of Bobby and I. Clearly you blokes were outclassed, out smarted, and out wrestled in a match that you had to win. But you know I don’t blame Madsen for the loss; I mean sure I pinned her and she might be a worthless skank. But John Cena is the biggest “Choke Artist” in the industry and lately cannot seem to find a way to win “the big one”… Especially when it’s against the UWA’s Icon

And for those who haven’t been paying attention… That’s me…

So John, I hope your content with a second rate championship like the No Limit’s title… I mean assuming you can win a big match against Violet and Ben; and yeah you know as well as I that it’ll be against the both of them. I mean face it, she might be your friend but I’m sure she fancies her boyfriend a lot more than you… And after she was made the goat in his loss to Scotty last week, she might be subconsciously thinking of ways to make it up to him.

I could be wrong… But I’ve got a hunch that the two love birds won’t be as quick to duel with a third party present..

As far as I’m concerned… I’ve got a hyped up triple threat match to compete in against two of the very best superstars to ever have laced up a pair of boots and climbed into the ring. On one end there’s Bobby Peru; a man I have renewed respect for. He and I went through the Universal Cup Tournament with the precision of a surgeon; butchering the teams who stood before us… Our recent workings have allowed me to forgive him for what he did to me at the start of the UWA’s existence, and granted me the ability to be on a level ground with the man.

Of course on the other hand there’s my beloved… The current Universal Champion, he is the embodiment of what a champion should be. Brash, charismatic, skillful, and full of wit; like him or hate him you have to admit that he’s accepted all challengers and despite a recent loss to Genocide, has beaten everyone he’s faced in this federation. This is a match that he thrives on with his opportunistic abilities, but even with all my love and admiration for the man…

I still intend on taking his championship away from him…

And why not? This is a “dog eat dog” world and if you’re not in the game to win than you have no business to be in the game at all… He knows my intentions as I know his, and no matter the outcome. I’m certain that our relationship will remain un-affected

Now on a non-business related note… Josh, luv… I see what you’re trying to do; and I can honestly say that I’m impressed. Yes you beat up my fiancée; in fact you nearly killed him all because of your obsession with me. Now I understand that you have a diluted sense of right and wrong; but certainly you know a warning when you see one…

So allow me to issue it…

Don’t fuck with me… I know you’re arsed and right now, if you just walk away from it than I might be able to let bygones be bygones. However if you continue down your rage filled jealous path, then I’ll be prompted to respond in ways that might crush what little bit is left of your battered soul… You know what I’m capable of doing to you emotionally, and I will not hesitate to rip that black heart of yours out of its resting place and feed it to you.

So if you have a problem with me… You take it up with me, not Scotty, not Bobby, not Sophie, or Trey… ME…

Got it?

The UWA ICON,
Lacey Allen Cohen